Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
