he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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