I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
