every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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