Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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