Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
