Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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