And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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