pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
