sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
