i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
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My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
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Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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