either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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