You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
