you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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