two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
