this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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