If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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