nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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