i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Randomize
