grandma shit on top of the toilet
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
