Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
