What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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