hell yes lets make some ravioli
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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