they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
