Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
