U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
