Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
