Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
