Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
