tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
