So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
