Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion