Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake