I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just pee around me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
