Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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