It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
