I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
