You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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