It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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