have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm too high and old for this...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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