note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
