google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
