i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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