She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
