we have officially lost it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
