We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
