this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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