like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
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Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
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Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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