Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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