I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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