she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
