if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my being single is dangerous.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
