why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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