i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
