my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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