He kissed a someone with a penis
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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