Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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