wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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