I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
