drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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