Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize