Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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