Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
