I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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