I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
