Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
