Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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