Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
