Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
why is half of my head shaved?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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