I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
